I'm tired of the current xanga layout,
wanting for a CHANGE.
it's just way too RED...

Another day, without anything to do.
I'm so tired to act as if I'm very busy, but in fact I'm not.

It's tough, so tough.
Today I realize it's never easy to be a writer of a magazine. At least, you have to brainstorm different creative topics to build on. It's like, you will be screaming 'STORY IDEAS!' all the way down the hall. I hate this, honestly. Sometimes, I hate myself for being so conservative, and not willing to extend further, or to take one step further.

Perhaps, I will be more fit to work for newspapers, at least I know what I am going to write about. I have all the facts and most importantly, power. I am the authorized information source. I'm a person who pays attention to details, who have learnt technical writing. My english writing has largely influenced by the technical writing course. Right now, it takes me hours to finish a 200-word leisure writing piece. I have to learn the abcs of writing casually. Why native people have an advantage on this? I think it's kinda unfair. I'm here learning native English as well, it's tough. Loads of vocabularies and informal phrases. You'll never learn all of them.

I feel sense of inferiority. When I look at the staff in the office, writing spontaneously, I'm like "How come he/she could be trained like a writing machine?" For the nature/nurture debate, I'm always on the nurture side. I strongly believe in hardworking, the more you pay for it, the more you can get. Somehow, I despise the native English speaker who are originally Chinese. I will eventually think I am a better Mandarin speaker than you do. What are your identity? Who are you then?

These ABCs (American born Chinese), never knows the beauty of the Chinese language, bcos it gets harder for them to pick it up from the start. They have been used to speaking English, very well. I say, you can speak English at the native level, but also please open your mouth to speak your own mother tongue as well! Never, sadly. Their parents, grandparents, relatives all speak the same international language on earth. They, then have no longer any chances to speak Chinese.

Why the hell I wrote so long about them? They are merely the people I met at office. I am, after all, proud of myself who can speak both Cantonese and Mandarin. I am at least improving. English is my third language, I will consider. While French is my forth. Arabic is my fifth. I am now learning all these languages... and currently looking for my sixth, probably German.

Anyway, I am going to bed, otherwise I can't develop my story ideas tomorrow. Shit.

Note: I was in the middle listening to Ra Ra Riot and my editor took it back, does it mean that I don't need to write any CD review this week?

Currently Listening The Rhumb Line By Ra Ra Riot see related

Some free time right now.

I was damn busy yesterday. I wrote an article on Melvis, and went around in Sheung Wan and Central to interview people who are working on lower-paid jobs.

Now, I have nothing to do. I simply browse the internet and read things, write blogs...

I realize that: if you are a journalist, you need stories. If you want to write, first you need stories. The process of brainstorming is harsh. But as long as l force myself to activate my brain cells, I could have a bunch of story ideas. Yay!

The mind-mapping process is important. Especially, when you work for a magazine, you won't place all the news stories in the mag.

Now in the office, when I have nothing else to do, listening the surrounding, I notice clearly the sound of typing, phone conversation, and all stuff. Some colleagues drop off their phone very loudly. Shit.

Very bored right now. I realize that I might not like working for magazines, I think they are like the products simply for the use of entertainment. Yea, I know sometimes we need some fun, but on the other way round, I believe that newspapers can actually monitor the government. Only those who can monitor the government can be called the media.

I am now brainstorming story ideas, like hell. I am thinking of the idea of 'saving money at the course of financial crisis'. And the idea of 'activism'.

OMG. I feel extremely tired, you know, I didn't work on anything related to work in the entire afternoon. Probably, in the later period of internship, I might have some time to do my own work as well. Haha, I even worked on my paper on Critical Thinking. Yea, I forgot to send it to Dr Eicher last night.

I am tired as hell, the feeling of occasionally taking a break. Feels great. Yea.